Jason Williams is a Bitcoin investor and author who appears in the Bugleverse mostly as a reference point rather than a participant — a name the hosts reach for when they need to illustrate a category. Across the record he occupies three of them in turn: the shitcoiner, the self-declared OG, and the patriarch of a scattered dynasty. He is never in the room. He is invoked in absentia.

The example of what not to get upset about

His first documented appearance is as a cautionary illustration rather than a subject. Richard Greaser, restating what the forty hours per week discipline is actually for, uses Williams’ inclusion in Maxi Madness as the model of misspent attention — the listener who comes away from the podcast diet “extremely upset because Jason Williams is a shit coiner.”¹ The point is not that the charge is false. The point is that being correct about it is not worth forty hours.

irl: Maxi Madness is the Bugle’s bracket-style tournament bit; see storylines/maxi-madness.

Among the people claiming to be OG Bitcoiners

Two weeks later Greaser opens an episode by naming Williams alongside American HODL as “these people claiming to be OG Bitcoiners” — figures whose credentials are stated rather than demonstrated, and who, by their own admission, “have no idea what’s going on.”² The framing is the premise of the episode and of storylines/chartboi-punditry: the famous have conceded ignorance, and the vacuum is what the Bugle claims to fill. Williams is cited here as evidence of the vacuum, not as a commentator within it. The beat is recorded at medium confidence; the quote spans two cues and the attribution rests on the ASR’s clean rendering of both names.

The bastard sons

The record’s last and strangest entry retcons Williams into a paterfamilias. Tim B is introduced as “the third bastard Bitcoin son of going parabolic Jason Williams”³ — placing him in the Bitcoins line as brother to Teddy Bitcoins and a Joey Bitcoins, with the explanation that Tim shortened his name to distance himself from the family. The epithet “going parabolic” attaches to Williams as a fixed honorific, which is the joke: the man is identified by his forecast.

Whether the Joey named here is Joey Canadian Bitcoin is not settled. The Bugle’s “Bitcoins brothers” may be a family unit of their own invention, and the surname is doing enough work in the bit that it need not point outward. Recorded as uncertain; no page currently claims the connection.

Footnotes

1. Bugle Weekly 52 @ 18:22. The sentence begins in the prior cue (t=1092): “the reason why we listen to forty hours of Bitcoin podcast a week isn’t to get”. ↩

2. Bugle Weekly 54 @ 4:48. Quote spans two cues; the concession follows at t=291. American HODL has no page in the wiki and is left in plain text here. ↩

3. Bugle Weekly 102 @ 1:11. “Joey Bitcoins” is named at t=67. ↩