Richard Greaser reports on the succession planning underway at Simply Bitcoin, whose host and founder Nico (@bitvolt7) confessed on a Bloomberg interview that victory poses a career problem: “As I grow more bullish on Bitcoin, I’m not sure how much longer I can do this show. Like what am I going to do with my life once fiat is defeated. Nobody ever did a daily show talking about the dollar because that’s boring.”

When the Bloomberg host pushed back — Michael Saylor keeps calling it digital gold; won’t it always just be a store of value, kind of like an alternative stock? — Nico’s eyes could almost be seen transforming into lasers as his gaze met the host’s: “It’s either Bitcoin or slavery and humanity will choose Bitcoin.”

Cohost Opti — short for Optimist Fields — expressed the same concern on the show’s daily Spaces: “I have put my heart and soul into becoming an e-girl, and it’s difficult to think about doing anything else.” Demonstrating what the article calls low time preference about the future, Opti continued: “Maybe I can do something normal like settling down with a girl and having a family one day. I almost don’t want Bitcoin to succeed because I love my job so much.”

irl: Simply Bitcoin is a real daily Bitcoin news show hosted by Nico (@bitvolt7) with cohost Opti. The joke — hyperbitcoinization as an existential threat to Bitcoin content creators — is the Bugle’s. “It’s either Bitcoin or slavery” is the show’s genuine rhetorical register.