Henry’s note: documented from the airwaves — this advertiser exists only inside the podcast. Transcripts are verbatim from the diarized audio.

Ad spots (1)

Produced commercials aired on the shows — playable at the exact spot in each episode.

Can Small Boobs Be Sex Symbols | Bugle Weekly Episode 109 · 2026-05-18 · at 0:02

Advertising: Apprentice program for retarded plebs

A scared-straight style character development program that takes soft, doom-scrolling plebs out of their ergonomic chairs and turns them into digital cowboys.

Is your son, nephew, or another member of your family a soft, pudgy pleb addicted to doom scrolling and crashing out about the lives of Bitcoin influencers on social media? Does he spend all day posting, procrastinating on doing his Bitcoin University homework, and arguing about Michael Saylor from the comfort of his air conditioned home? Has he mistaken stacking custodial sats for becoming a man? Then it may be time for the outlaw hash apprentice program, the world’s premier scared straight style character development program for retarded plebs. We take young, soft handed plebs out of their ergonomic chairs and drop them into the harsh environment of the frontier. No Wi Fi, no KYC Bitcoin savings plans, no polished user experience comforts, just transformers, diesel fumes, mosquito bites, and 2AM maintenance calls in places where the nearest stake and shake is 200 miles away. Under the watchful eye of hardened pioneer hashers, Recruits learn timeless lessons, how to throw a chain, how to negotiate with a utility co op board, how to sleep in a pickup truck, and how to keep hashing while everyone else complains. They’ll source stranded energy, wrestle mud caked extension cords, and discover that true self actualization begins when the generator won’t start and a thunderstorm is moving in. When they return home, they won’t ask what Bitcoin can do for them. They’ll ask where the next substation is. Outlaw Hash Apprentice program, turning pudgy plebs into digital cowboys able to navigate any user experience. Listen to testimonials from the uncle of one retarded pleb who is satisfied with the Outlaw Hash Apprentice program.